Anger Resources - Books

The following list includes a number of helpful resources that can build on the information presented in this website to expand your knowledge about control, anger, shame, abuse, road rage, violence, and other related topics and give you ideas about how to deal with these issues if they are a part of your day-to-day life. (Go to or for more details or to order the books on this list.)



  • Embracing the Dark Side: Learning to Recognize and Transform the Anger Within and Around You (1987; last revised in October 2017) by Dave Decker (special order from Dave or order an e-book version from or
  • Stopping the Violence: The Client Workbook (1999) by Dave Decker (special order from Dave or order from
  • Stopping the Violence: A Group Model to Change Men’s Abusive Attitudes and Behaviors (1999) by Dave Decker (special order from Dave or order from


  • From Stalemate to Soulmate: A Guide to Mature, Committed, Loving Relationships (1997) by Mike Obsatz (order from
  • Healing Our Anger: Seven Ways to Make Peace in a Hostile World (2000) by Mike Obsatz (order from
  • Journeyman a 2008 documentary video by Mike Obsatz, Charlie Borden, and Kevin Obsatz (available from
  • Raising Non-Violent Children in a Violent World (1998) by Mike Obsatz (order from
  • That’s Enough (a film by Mike Obsatz and Jack Revheim)



  • Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion (1982) by Carol Tavris
  • Anger Kills: Seventeen Strategies for Controlling the Hostility That Can Harm Your Health (1993) by Redford Williams and Virginia Williams
  • The Dance of Anger (1985) by Harriet Lerner
  • Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex (2001) by Richard A. Warshak
  • The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself (1990) by Beverly Engels
  • The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence (1997) by Gavin de Becker
  • I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (1997) by Terrence Real
  • In Love and In Danger: A Teen’s Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships by Barrie Levy
  • “Not to People Like Us:” Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages (2000) by Susan Weitzman
  • Road Rage and Aggressive Driving: Steering Clear of Highway Warfare (2000) by Leon James and Diane Nahl
  • Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life (1989) by Susan Forward with Craig Buck
  • Use Your Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Empowerment (1996) by Sandra Thomas and Cheryl Jefferson
  • The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond (1992) by Patricia Evans
  • When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within (1989) by Mathew McKay, Peter Rogers and Judith McKay
  • When Love Goes Wrong: What to Do When You Can’t Do Anything Right (1992) by Ann Jones and Susan Schechter
  • Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (2002) by Lundy Bancroft


  • The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (1982) by Martha Davis, Elizabeth Eshelman and Matthew McKay
  • The Stress of Life (1978) by Hans Selye
  • Thoughts and Feelings: The Art of Cognitive Stress Intervention (1981) by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning
  • The Upside of Stress: Why Stress is Good For You, and How to Get Good at It (2015) by Kelly McGonigal
  • Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers: An Updated Guide to Stress, Stress-related Diseases, and Coping (1994) by Robert M. Sapolsky


  • After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful (1996) by Janis Abrahms Spring
  • Alive and Aware: Improving Communication in Relationships (1975) by Sherod Miller, Elam Nunnally, and Daniel Wackman
  • The Dance of Intimacy (1989) by Harriet Lerner
  • The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (1992) by Gary Chapman
  • Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples (1988) by Harville Hendrix
  • How Can I Forgive You: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To (2004) by Janis Spring Abrahms with Michael Spring
  • How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women (2002) by Terrence Real
  • How To Be An Adult In Relationships: the Five Keys to Mindful Loving (2002) by David Richo
  • How To Be An Adult In Love: Letting Love in Safely and Showing it Recklessly (2013) by David Richo
  • Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles (1992) by Harville Hendrix
  • Messages: The Communication Skills Book (1983) by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning
  • Not “Just Friends:” Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity (2003) by Shirley Glass with Jean Coppock Staehili
  • The Relationship Cure: A 5-step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships (2001) by John Gottman and Joan DeClaire
  • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) by John Gottman and Nan Silver
  • Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering From the Pain (1994) by Rona Subotnik and Gloria G. Harris
  • Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships (1986) by Diane Vaughn
  • Why Marriages Succeed or Fail...and How You Can Make Yours Last (1994) by John Gottman
  • You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation (1990) by Deborah Tannen



  • 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (2003) by Thomas Phelan
  • The Parents’ Book About Divorce (1991) by Richard Gardner
  • The Parents’ Guide: A Systematic Training for Effective Parenting of Teens (1982) by Don Dinkmeyer and Gary McKay
  • The Parents’ Handbook: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting: STEP (1989) by Don Dinkmeyer and Gary McKay
  • Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen (2004) by David Walsh


  • Change Your Brain. Change Your Life (1998) by Daniel G. Amen
  • The Dynamics of Power: Building A Competent Self (1983) by Gershen Kaufman
  • Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (1995) by Daniel Goleman
  • Facing Shame: Families In Recovery (1986) by Merle Fossum and Marilyn Mason
  • Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (1980) by David Burns
  • The Hazards of Being Male: Surviving the Myth of Masculine Privilege (1976) by Herb Goldberg
  • Life-Skills (1997) by Redford Williams and Virginia Williams
  • Making a Good Brain Great (2005) by Daniel G. Amen
  • Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation (2010) by Daniel J. Siegel
  • The Male Machine (1975) by Marc Feigen Fasteau
  • Man Enough: Fathers, Sons, and the Search for Masculinity (1993) by Frank Pittman
  • The New Male: From Macho to Sensitive But Still All Male (1979) by Herb Goldberg
  • Your Perfect Right (1970) by Robert E. Alberti and Michael Emmons
  • Self-Assertion for Women (1992) by Pamela Butler
  • Self-Esteem (1987) by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning
  • Shame: The Power of Caring (1980) by Gershen Kaufman
  • Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships (2006) by Daniel Goleman